This guy lived on his own and he was feeling a bit lonely, so he goes to the pet shop to get something to keep him company. The pet shop owner suggested an unusual pet, a talking millipede. OK, thought the man, I'll give it a go, so he bought one and took it home.
That night he decided to test out his new pet, so he opened the box and said, "I'm going to the pub for a drink, do you want to come too?"
But there was no reply.
He tried again, "Oi, millipede, wanna come to the boozer with me?"
Again, no response.
So the man ranted and raved for a bit, but after a while decided to give it one more try before he took the thing back to the shop.
So he took the lid off the box and repeated, "I said I'm going to the pub for a drink, do you want to come?"
"I heard you the first time" snapped the millipede, "I'm just putting my shoes on."
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