Joke of the week [135 = year 3, #31] Why did the chicken cross the road? (C) February 14 - February 20

21) Pat Buchanan's answer:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
22) L.A.P.D.'s answer:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
23) Bill Gates' answer:
I have just released eChicken 2005, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
24) Steve Jobs's (Apple) answer:
Because of the brand-new iChicken- a portable device that crosses roads, lays eggs, gives wakeup calls and provides dinner, automatically. This amazing device can simply plug in to the $4000 iCoop to produce additional iChickens and recharge existing iChickens, or plug it into the $9000 iChop to convert iChicken files into iFood. iFood-to-Regular Food converters sell for an additional $50/month fee, however the optional iFood-to-FoodXP converter is still in development. iChickens are only available from authorized iDealers, which can be found in nearly every US state. If your iChicken develops a disease or stops working, you must send it by FedEx Overnight to Littleton, Montana and our iTechnicians will send you a replacement within 3 months. The iChicken. Wow!
25) Arthur Andersen Consultant's answer:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impact environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
26) Neil Armstrong's answer:
To go where no chicken has gone before.
27) Jack Nicholson's Answer:
'Cause it (expletive deleted) wanted to. That's the (expletive deleted) reason.
28) Grandpa's Answer:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
29) The Pope's Answer:
That is only for God to know.
30) Douglas Adams's answer:
Forty-two.

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