Guy walks into a pet store. As he walks by a pen, he sees a sign that says: “Talking Dog: $500.”
So he asks the owner, “Does this dog really talk?”
Owner says “Go ahead, ask him.”
Guy says to the dog “OK, tell me about yourself.”
Dog says, “Well, I was born in Germany and trained by the state to be a guard dog. After I got my certificate I was sent to New York to an exclusive security dealer, where Donald Trump found me. I spent two years guarding Trump Towers, then went to California and worked for Spielberg for three years. Been kicking back for the last 18 months and just enjoying being a dog.”
The guy is dumbfounded.
He says to the shop owner, “Oh my God, that’s amazing. I’ll take him. Why in the world is he only $500?”
"Because he's a liar."
A man in Florida sees a classified ad, "Talking dog for sale. $50." The man calls the number and asks the guy who answers, "Do you really have a talking dog for sale?" The guy says, "Yes, that's right." The man arranges to go right over and see for himself. He arrives and rings the bell. The guy tells him, "Come on in." The man goes into the living room and the guy who's in his lounge chair watching the game tells him the dog is back in the bedroom. The man goes back to the bedroom and there on the bed is the dog, watching TV using the remote control. He says, "Are you really a talking dog?" The dog replies with a sigh, "Oh yes. I've been able to talk since I was a puppy." The man says, "That's incredible! How did you end up here in Florida?" The dog replies, "Well, after obedience school, I ended up working as a police dog, and then joined the Army's K-9 corps. I served in the first Persian Gulf war sniffing for explosives, then I served in Kosovo helping to locate bodies, then after 9-11 I helped find human remains at the World Trade Center site. After all that work, death, and destruction, I decided to retire to Florida." The man goes back to the living room and says, "I am just blown away! That dog is incredible! Why in the world would you want to sell him for $50?" The guy rolls his eyes, and says loud enough for the dog to hear, "Because he's a big LIAR!"
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