12) The Psychiatrist Sketch
B: Dr Braintree (= psychiatrist)
R: Roger (= patient)
B:
Come in. [Enter Roger.] Hullo,
Roger.
R:
Hullo, Dr Braintree.
B:
Hullo, come in.
R:
I’m sorry I’m late.
B:
That’s quite all right – how are you?
R:
I’m very well, thank you.
B:
Would you like to sit down, or would you prefer to lie.
[pun: to lie:liegen ↔ to
lie: lügen]
R:
Uhm, I’ll sit, thank you.
B:
Right, well, sit down. Tell me, how are you in yourself?
R:
I’m feeling just great.
B:
Oh, this is terrific.
R:
Yes, and it’s more than I expected from our sessions. You know, if
anyone had told me that talking to
B:
Yes.
R:
But I can honestly say that our little chats together have really been of
tremendous help to me.
B:
I’m so glad, Roger: of course a lot of people are instinctively
suspicious of psychiatry, but it can help at times.
R:
Well, I really think it can, because you know, I’ve got so much
self-confidence now. I’m much less self-
B:
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You’re less inhibited, are you?
inhibited/inhibition:
gehemmt/Hemmung
R:
[Suggestively] Oh yes,
I should say so.
suggestive(ly): vielsagend, (auch) anzüglich
B:
Good, this is terrific.
R:
And the wonderful thing about it all is … well, I’m in love.
B:
Well, this is wonderful news, Roger – you’re in love. – With a
woman?
R:
Yes.
B:
So much the better – that’s terrific.
R:
You know, it’s so wonderful to be in love – I can’t tell you the
absolute joy I have. … this girl, this creature
R:
I mean, she’s
B:
Yes …
R:
She’s so, you know, it’s so right. Everything is so wonderful, you
know.
B:
Yes, yes – you really click together.
R:
Yes. Oh, it’s so marvellous, but – the only trouble is that, apart
from this wonderful light-hearted love I have,
I seem to be saddled with this tremendous burning sense of guilt.
guilt: Schuld
saddled with: belastet mit
B:
You have guilt as well as love: well, this is unfortunate, Roger. You
know, sex is the most wonderful natural,
R:
Well, it’s not really as simple as that, you know – it’s rather
difficult to explain. Uhm, I don’t really know
B:
Well, begin at the beginning. That’s always the best place. What’s
the girl’s name.
R:
[Pause] Stephanie.
B:
Stephanie. That’s a lovely name, isn’t it – well, my wife’s name
in fact, isn’t it?
R:
Yes, it’s Stephanie.
B:
Yes, it’s Stephanie.
R:
Yes, it’s Stephanie.
B:
No, it’s Stephanie.
R:
Yes, it’s Stephanie: it’s your wife.
B:
Oh, you’re in love with my wife, Stephanie. Well, this is a perfectly
understandable thing, Roger. She’s a very attractive
woman – I married her myself. I don’t see why you should feel upset about
that.
R:
But she’s in love with me.
B:
Well, this again perfectly understandable, Roger. I mean, you’re a
perfectly attractive human being, as I’ve
told
you over the last few weeks. There’s nothing repulsive about you, is there?
There’s no reason why a
R:
But she’s not seeking anything outside marriage – nor am I. We want
to get married.
B:
Well, this is understandable. After all, you’re two young people in
love and you want to express your feelings
R:
The awful thing is, you see – I should feel grateful to you for what
you’ve done. And all I can feel is this
B:
Well, of course, I understand this. One is tremendously possessive about
someone one loves … it would be
R:
But don’t you see – I hate you.
B:
Of course you hate me, Roger.
R:
I hate you for being so near her.
B:
Yes, of course you hate me, Roger. You love to hate the one who loves the
one you hate to love the one you
R:
Don’t you understand – I want to kill you.
B:
Of course you want t kill me. Because by killing me , Roger, you
eradicate the one you hate. This is a perfectly
R:
You’re so reasonable, aren’t you.
B:
Yes, I am.
R:
[Getting cross] You understand it all so much … you are so logical. [Gets
up to strike him.] cross (with sb.): böse (auf jmd.)
B:
Yes, I am – it’s my job.
R:
I’m going to have to kill you now!
B:
Ah – Roger – this is a little inconvenient, because I have another
patient a six-thirty and then there’s someone
R:
[Pause – relax] When do you think?
B:
How are you fixed on Wednesday morning? Say nine-thirty – would that be
convenient? to be fixed on/for:
R:
Yes, that’s perfect.
“wie
steht’s mit”
B:
Right, well, if you could pop along at nine-thirty and kill me then.
to pop along: “mal reinschauen”
R:
Once again, Doctor Braintree, I’m amazed, you know, really. I’m so
grateful to you for showing me the way.
B:
That’s what I’m here for, Roger.
R:
Thank you very much. Thank you.
B:
And with a bit of luck, this should be the last time you have to visit me.
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