JOKE(S) OF THE
WEEK: EIGHTH YEAR
of the week [365 = year 8, #1]: student of psychology
(July 13, 2009 - July 19, 2009)
"I somehow thought my degrees in psychology, politics and economics would
help me to get a job with your company. I'm really disappointed.
Personnel officer: "I'm sorry to hear that but then you are the
kind of person who will understand why he can't get a job with us.
of the week [366 = year 8, #2]: David Lodge (1), graffito
(July 20, 2009 - July 26, 2009)
Desmond Blake]: ...When was the last time I laughed at a graffito? Years ago,
I spotted one which still makes me smile when I think of it: under a sign, 'Bill
Posters Will Be Prosecuted' some wag had written, 'Bill Posters is
from David Lodge's novel Deaf Sentence (2008)
of the week [367 = year 8, #3]: David Lodge (2), hearing problems
(July 27, 2009 - August 2, 2009)
… The reception in the Senior Common Room
afterwards was the usual ordeal by Lombard Reflex. There were several fellow
sufferers among the elderly guests whom these occasions tend to attract, and I
had some exchanges along the familiar lines of 'Terribly noisy in here'
- ' What?' - 'I said it 's terribly noisy in here' - 'Sorry, can't hear you,
it's so damned noisy in here ...' Then Sylvia Cooper, wife of the former
Head of History, engaged me in one of those conversations in which your
interlocutor says something that sounds like a quotation from a Dadaist poem, or
one of Chomsky's impossible sentences, and you say 'What?' or 'I beg your
pardon?' and they repeat their words, which make a banal sense the second time
'The pastime of
the dance went to pot,' Sylvia Cooper seemed to say, 'so we spent most of
the time in our shit, the cows' in-laws finding they stuttered.'
What?' I said.
'I said, the last time we went to France it was so hot we spent most of
the time in our gîte, cowering indoors behind the shutters.'
'Oh, hot, was it?' I
said. 'That must have been the summer of 2003.'
'Yes, we seared our arses on bits of plate, but soiled my cubism, I'm
'We were near Carcasonne. A pretty place, but spoiled by tourism, I'm
'Ah, yes, it's
the same everywhere these days,' I said sagely.
'But I do mend sherry. Crap and sargasso pained there, you know.
There's a lovely little mum
'Sherry?' I said
'Céret, it's a little
town in the foothills of the Pyrenees,' said Mrs Cooper with a certain
Picasso painted there. I recommend it.'
yes, I've been there,' I said hastily. 'It has a rather nice art gallery.'
'The mum of
'Quite so', I said. I looked at my glass. 'I seem
to need a refill. Can I get you one?'
To my relief, she declined. …
quoted from David Lodge's novel
Deaf Sentence (2008)
see also: http://www.wepsite.de/joke(366).htm
of the week [368 = year 8, #4]: linguistics (2)
(August 3, 2009 - August 9, 2009)
of the week [369 = year 8, #5]: the English gentleman
(August 10, 2009 - August 16, 2009)
dinner in a great country house, one of the guests drinks rather too much wine
and, without warning, slumps across the table. The host rings for the butler
and when he arrives says: "Smithers, could you please prepare a room.
This gentleman has kindly consented to stay the night."
see also: http://www.wepsite.de/joke(358).htm
of the week [370 = year 8, #6]: bagpipes
(August 17, 2009 - August 23, 2009)
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: They want to get away from the noise.
Q: What is the definition of a gentleman?
A: A man who knows how to play the bagpipes but doesn't.
of the week [371 = year 8, #7]: smart dog (2)
(August 24, 2009 - August 30, 2009)
man goes into a pet shop and buys a talking dog for 50 pounds. He then shows
the dog to his friends and challenges them: "I bet everyone this dog can
talk." His friends all take the bet, only to find that the dog will not
utter a word, however hard it is encouraged, and the bewildered owner
reluctantly has to pay up. He takes the dog home and says out loud that he
will return the dog to the pet shop next day and demand his money back. "Use
your head," pipes up the dog wearily, "just think of the odds we'll
smart dog (1): http://www.wepsite.de/joke(250).htm
(not so) smart dog: http://www.wepsite.de/joke(276).htm
of the week [372 = year 8, #8]: "daft definitions", ctd. (7)
(August 31, 2009 - September 6, 2009)
of the week [373 = year 8, #9]: "daft definitions", ctd. (8)
(September 7, 2009 - September 13, 2009)
Inkling: A small pen
#35) Jubilant: A celebrating insect
#36) Kindred: Fear of relatives
#37) Kipper: A sleepy fish
#38) Offal: Something dreadful
of the week [374 = year 8, #10]: "daft definitions", ctd. (9)
(September 14, 2009 - September 20, 2009)
Polygon: A dead parrot
#40) Rugged: Seated on a mat
#41) Syntax: A collection in church
#42) Tangent: A gentleman with a suntan
#43) Viper (German!):
Used to clean windows
#44) Zeal: An enthusiastic sea mammal
of the week [375 = year 8, #11]: "senior moment"(1)
(September 21, 2009 - September 27, 2009)
An elderly couple had
dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table
and went into the kitchen.
The two elderly
gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new
restaurant, and it was really great. I'd recommend it very highly."
The other man said,
"What's the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought
and thought and finally said, "What's the name of that flower you give to
someone you love? You know … the one that's red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a
man said, then he turned toward the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what’s
the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
senior moment (2): http://www.wepsite.de/joke(376).htm
of the week [376 = year 8, #12]: "senior moment"(2)
(September 28, 2009 - October 4, 2009)
were two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower
and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. One evening
there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the
same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few
admiring glances at her and finally gathered his courage to ask her,
"Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of 'careful
consideration,' she answered. "Yes. Yes, I will." The meal ended
and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places.
Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say
'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall.
Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called
her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then
he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he
inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did
you say 'No'?" He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes,
yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued,
"I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked
senior moment (1): http://www.wepsite.de/joke(375).htm
Joke of the week [377 = year 8, #13] "tlicky Chinese language"
(October 5, 2009 - October 11, 2009)
man eating in a Chinese restaurant decides to complain to the waitress about
his meal.. "This chicken is rubbery," he tells her. "Thank you,"
replies the waitress with a smile.
of the week [378 = year 8, #14]: "ten silly book titles"(2)
(October 12, 2009 - October 18, 2009)
A Clifftop Tragedy, by Eileen
12) A Young Man's Guide to Dating, by Caesar
13) At The North Pole, by I.
14) At the South Pole, by Ann
15) Better Gardening, by Anita
16) Bullying Is Wrong, by Howard
17) Carpet Laying, by Walter
18) Dating Period Furniture, by Anne
19) Dealing With Alcoholism, by Carrie
20) Diary Of A Bank Robber, by Hans
of the week [379 = year 8, #15]: "ten silly book titles"(3)
(October 19, 2009 - October 25, 2009)
Eating Garlic, by Y. I. Malone
22) Gone With the Wind, by Rufus
23) How I won the Grand National,
by Rhoda Winner
24) How to be Stupid, by M.
25) How to Succeed, by Vic
26) Improve Your Memory, by Ivor
27) Influenza, by Mike
28) Into Battle, Sally
29) Jungle Fever, by Amos
30) Keeping Caged, by Ken
of the week [380 = year 8, #16]: "ten silly book titles"(4)
(October 26, 2009 - November 1, 2009)
Lumberjacks, by Tim Burr
32) Magic for Beginners, by Beatrix
33) Moving Day, by Ivor
34) My Political Memoirs, by Lisa
35) On the Beach, by C.
36) Pain and Sorrow, by Ann
37) Primary School, by L.
38) Rice Growing, by Paddy
39) Road Transport, by Laurie
40) Scalp Disorders, by Dan
of the week [381 = year 8, #17]: "ten silly book titles"(5)
2, 2009 - November 8, 2009)
So Tired, by Carrie
42) Strong Winds, by Gail
43) Swimming the Channel, by Frances
44) The Bad Striker, by Misty
45) The Bank Raid, by Dinah
46) The Burglar, by Robin
47) The Haunted Room, by Hugo
48) The Insomniac, by Eliza
49) The Library Thieves, by M.
50) The Millionaire, by Ivor
of the week [382 = year 8, #18]: "ten silly book titles"(6)
(November 9, 2009 - November 15, 2009)
The Runaway Bull, by Gay Topen
52) The Tiger's Revenge, by Claude
53) The World of Hairdressing, by Aaron
54) The Worst Journey in the World, by Ellen
55) Try and Try Again, by Percy
56) Understanding Computers, by Mike
57) Vegetable Gardening, by Rosa
58) Wait for Me, by Isa
59) When Does School End?, by Wendy
60) Willie Win, by Betty
of the week [383 = year 8, #19] "ten
silly book titles"(7), by Patrick Leigh Fermor (1)
16, 2009 - November 22, 2009)
Dipsomania by Mustafa
62) Canine Diet by Nora
63) I Scream by Walls
64) In the Soup by A.
65) A Tommy in the Harem by Private
66) Second Helpings by O.
67) First Causes by F.
68) First Steps in Rubber by Wellington
69) Military Dilemmas by Major
70) Cease Fire! by General
of the week [384 = year 8, #20]: "ten
silly book titles"(8), by Patrick Leigh Fermor (2) (November 23, 2009 - November 29, 2009)
Consenting Adults by Abel N. Willing
Observed by I. Sawyer
73) Studies in Sentiment by E.
74) Reduced to the Ranks by D.
75) Intuition by Ivor Hunch
Days by A. Hare
Bagman's Journal by Gladstone
78) On the Spot by Leo
79) Call Me X by Anon
80) Pardon Me by Belcher
of the week [385 = year 8, #21]: "not
much of a driver"
(November 30, 2009 - December 6, 2009)
man having a snack in a motorway service station is accosted by three
aggressive Hell's Angels who spit in his coffee, knock his food on the floor
and push him off his chair. Instead of retaliating, the man just walks out.
"He's not much of a man!" one of the bikers tells the waitress.
"He's not much of a driver either", replies the waitress. "He's
just driven his lorry over three bikes."
of the week [386 = year 8, #22]: telling
jokes in prison
(December 7, 2009 - December 13, 2009)
group of prisoners have been in prison so long they know each other's jokes by
heart. To save time they refer to them by number. One prisoner says, "Number
seventeen," and everyone smiles. Another says, "Remember number five?"
and everyone chuckles. A third prisoner responds with , "How about that
number eleven, eh?" and everyone grins. One prisoner, however, is rolling
on the floor helpless with laughter at that one. Eventually he recovers and
shrugs apologetically to his friends: "Sorry, that's the first time I
heard that one."
of the week [387 = year 8, #23]: caught
(December 14, 2009 - December 20, 2009)
police officer pulled a car over and informed the driver that he was going 60
mph in a 50 mph zone. "I was only going 50!" the driver protested,
"Not according to my radar," the officer said. "Yes, I
was!" the man shouted back. "No you weren't!" the officer
retorted. With that, the man's wife leaned toward the window and said, "Officer,
I should warn you not to argue with my husband when he's been drinking."
speeding (1): http://www.wepsite.de/joke(237).htm
of the week [388 = year 8, #24]: the
three stages of Father Christmas
(December 21, 2009 - December 27, 2009)
stage: You believe in Father Christmas.
Second stage: You don't believe in Father Christmas.
Third stage: You ARE Father Christmas
Here come the
FOUR stages of Christmas: http://www.wepsite.de/joke(441).htm
of the week [389 = year 8, #25]: "nunsense"
(December 28, 2009 - January 3, 2010)
A taxi driver picks
up a nun. She gets into the taxi, and he won't stop staring at her. He
says, "I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. After my experiences, I'm
sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find
offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, as long as you are single and a Catholic, then I
will kiss you." The taxi driver says, "Yes, I'm single and a
Catholic!" "OK," she says. "Pull over." The nun
plants a kiss on the taxi driver, who then starts crying. "My dear child,"
says the nun, "why are you crying?" "Forgive me, but I've
sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says,
"That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."
of the week [390 = year 8, #26]: computer engineer
(January 4, 2010 - January 10, 2010)
mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a
computer engineer were driving down the street one day, when the car the were
travelling in broke down. The mechanical engineer said, "I think a rod
broke." The chemical engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the
end, I don't think it's getting any petrol." The electrical engineer said,
"I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical
system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What
do you think?" The computer engineer replied, "I think we should all
get out and get back in."
of the week [391 = year 8, #27]: Kraut (& Irish) bashing (1)
(January 11, 2010 - January 17, 2010)
Q: What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a
A: A man who is too drunk to follow orders.
of the week [392 = year 8, #28]: Kraut bashing (2)
(January 18, 2010 - January 24, 2010)
What did the German clockmaker say to the clock that
went only "tick, tick, tick"?
A: "Ve haff vays of making you tock!"
of the week [393 = year 8, #29]: "multi-purpose" (or "generic") ethnic
joke (1) (January 25, 2010 - January 31, 2010)
A Prussian, a
Bavarian and a Swabian [insert
any other tribe, such as Saxonians, Berliners, East Frisians] are sitting
together drinking beer. A fly falls into each one's mug. The Prussian pours
away his beer with the fly and orders a new beer. The Bavarian picks the fly
out of his mug with his fingers and continues drinking. The Swabian picks out
the fly and then forces it to spit out the beer it has drunk.
Englishman, a Welshman and a Scotsman are sitting together ... ["Adding
insult to injury", one could also include an Irishman who gulps down his
beer saying something along the lines of "Great, I could do with a spot
anyone feels offended, he or she is welcome to it! (What about coming up with
your own multi-purpose ethnic joke?)
of the week [394 = year 8, #30]: "Loddä" special
(February 1, 2010 - February 7, 2010)
week, the Swabian Günter Oettinger and his linguistic "performance" caused quite a stir: www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWB5oyIjSF0
not forget the equally talented Franconian speaker of English,"Loddä"
Im Jahr 2000 heuert Lothar Matthäus zum Ausklang seiner aktiven Fußballerkarriere
bei den New Yorker Metro Stars an. Ehe er losfliegt, wendet er
sich vertrauensvoll an Franz Beckenbauer: „Du, Franz, du hast doch auch
schon in New York Fußball gespielt, wie bist du denn mit der Sprache
klargekommen?“ „Kein Problem, Lothar,“ antwortet Franz, "wenn du in
Amerika bist, musst du immer ganz deutlich sprechen, dann verstehen dich die
Leute da drüben auch." An seinem ersten Tag in einem New Yorker Café
sagt Lothar zum Kellner: "Ein-Weiss-bier-bit-te!" Darauf erwidert
der Kellner:"Sie-kom-men-wohl-aus-Deutsch-land-ich-auch." Lothar
antwortet verdutzt: "Ja, wenn wir beide aus Deutschland kommen, warum
reden wir dann Englisch?"
Bayerischer Rundfunk: "Austrian English": icehole,
BBC Interview with Horst Seehofer: Seehofer,BBC.mp3*
sorry, may not work on
of the week [395 = year 8, #31]: money, money ... (1), dough
(February 8, 2010 - February 14, 2010)
Q: Why is money called dough?
A: Because everyone kneads it.
Q: What's a doughnut?
A: Someone who is crazy about money.
of the week [396 = year 8, #32]: money, money ... (2), bank managers
(February 15, 2010 - February 21, 2010)
Q: What do you call a bank manager sitting in a tree?
A: A branch manager.
Q: Why did the Irish call their currency the Punt before they
introduced the Euro?
A: Because it rhymes with bank manager. (SORRY!!! W.E.P.)
of the week [397 = year 8, #33]: money, money ... (3), rude customer
22, 2010 - February 28, 2010)
crusty-looking old man walks into a bank and says to the woman at the window,
"I want to open a f***ing* account." To which the astonished woman replies, "I beg your
pardon, sir? I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a f***ing
account right now!" "I'm very sorry, sir, but we do not tolerate
that kind of language in this bank." With that the woman leaves the
window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about the situation. They
both return and the manager asks the old geezer, "What seems to be the
problem here?" "There's no f***ing problem," the man says, "I just won 50 million quid
in the f***ing lottery and I want to open a f***ing
account in this f***ing bank!"
"I see," says the manager, "and this bitch is giving you a hard
an expletive of your choice
of the week [398 = year 8, #34]: "multi-purpose" (or "generic") ethnic joke (2) (March 1, 2010 - March 7, 2010)
guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "I've got this great Polish* joke." The
barman glares at him and warns him, "Before you tell that joke, I think
you ought to know that I'm Polish, the two bouncers are Polish and most of my
customers are Polish." "Ok," says the guy. "I'll tell it
for Polish insert any other group you want to insult, such as "Irish",
"East Frisians", "Red Necks" etc. etc.
"multi purpose" ethnic joke (1): http://www.wepsite.de/joke(398).htm
of the week [399 = year 8, #35]: unhappy monk
(March 8, 2010 - March 14, 2010)
man joins a Trappist order and is told that he is allowed to say just two
words every five years. After five years he speaks his two words to his
superiors. "Bed hard," he says. He is promised the problem will be
looked into. Another five years pass. This time his two words are: "Food
cold." Again his superiors promise to take care of the problem. Five
years later his two words are "I quit." His superiors look at one
another wearily. "We're not the least bit surprised. You've done nothing
but complain for the last fifteen years!"
of the week [400 = year 8, #36]: "getting
out of the wrong side of bed"
(March 15, 2010 - March 21, 2010)
O'Brian is walking down the road when he passes two nuns coming the other way.
He nods in greeting and one of the nuns says. "Ah, Father, I see you got
out of the wrong side of bed this morning." Father O'Brian is
surprised by this remark, but he walks on. Soon he comes across an altar-boy.
"Good morning, Father," says the boy. I see you got out of the wrong
side of bed this morning." Once more, Father O'Brian is puzzled by this
comment, but he walks on. The next person the Father sees is Bishop O'Leary.
"Hello, O'Brian,” says the Bishop. "I see you got out of the wrong
side of bed this morning." "You know," says Father O'Brian,
"you are the third person who has said that to me today. Do I look in a
bad mood or something? Because I actually feel very happy."
"No," says the Bishop, "you don't look as if you were in a bad
mood at all, but you are wearing your housekeeper's shoes."
of the week [401 = year 8, #37]: nun at the wheel
(March 22, 2010 - March 28, 2010)
policeman stops a car full of nuns. Policeman: "Sister, the speed limit
is 65 miles per hour. Why are you going so slowly?" Nun: "Sir, I saw
lots of signs that said 22, not 65." Policeman: "That's not the
speed limit! That's the number of the highway you are on." Nun: "Oh!
Thanks for letting me know, officer. In future, I'll be more careful."
Then the policeman looks in the back seat, where the other nuns are sitting
and trembling. Policeman: "Excuse me, Sister. What's wrong with your
friends? They are all trembling." Nun: "Oh, we just got off highway
of the week [402 = year 8, #38]: sermon (1)
(March 29, 2010 - April 4, 2010)
a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet the church
board after the service. The first man to arrive was a stranger. "You
misunderstood my announcement," said the minister. "This is a
meeting of the board." Well," said the man, "if there is anyone
here more bored than I am, I'd like to meet him."
of the week [403 = year 8, #39]: sermon (2)
(April 5, 2010 - April 11, 2010)
embarrassed woman approached the vicar after a church service. "I hope
you don't take it personally, Reverend, when my husband walked out during your
sermon." "I did find it rather disconcerting," the vicar
replied. "It's not a reflection on you, " insisted the churchgoer.
"He's been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child."
of the week [404 = year 8, #40]: vicar/priest (1)
(April 12, 2010 - April 18, 2010)
vicar/priest retires after twenty years in his parish. "We're sorry
you're retiring," says one parishioner, "You showed us what sin
of the week [405 = year 8, #41]: vicar/priest (2)
(April 19, 2010 - April 25, 2010)
vicar is walking down the street when a young woman slips on the pavement in
front of him. The vicar helps her up, joking, "This is the first time
I've rescued a fallen woman." The woman replies, "And this is the
first time I've been picked up by a clergyman.
of the week [406 = year 8, #42]: vicar/priest (3)
(April 26, 2010 - May 2, 2010)
man was coming out of church one day, and the vicar was standing at the door
to shake hands with the departing congregation. He grabbed the man by the hand
and pulled him aside. The vicar said, "You need to join the Army of the
Lord!" The man replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, vicar."
"How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" asked the
vicar. He whispered back, "I'm in the Secret Service."
of the week [407 = year 8, #43]: politicians (1)
(May 3, 2010 - May 9, 2010)
politician was once asked about his attitude towards whisky. "If you mean
the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family
life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of
Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts
needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm
for it: This is my position, and I will not compromise!"
of the week [408 = year 8, #44]: politicians (2), "light bulb joke"
(May 10, 2010 - May 16, 2010)
How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another one to change it back again.
of the week [409 = year 8, #45]: politicians (3), another "light bulb joke"
17, 2010 - May 23, 2010)
How many spin doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change it and the other three to deny it.
of the week [410 = year 8, #46]: Arabs & the Irish
(May 24, 2010 - May 30, 2010)
of the week [411 = year 8, #47]: booze (6), two
drunks in London
(May 31, 2010 - June 6, 2010)
of the week [412 = year 8, #48]: booze (7), "vegetative
(June 7, 2010 - June 13, 2010)
man and his wife were sitting in the living room and the man said: "I
never want to live in a vegetative state, depending on a machine and fluids.
If that ever happens, please pull the plug." His wife got up, unplugged
the TV and threw out all of his beer.
of the week [413 = year 8, #49]: booze (8), "all
you can drink"
(June 14, 2010 - June 20, 2010)
decides to boost business at his pub by having a special offer. He puts a sign
over a keg of beer saying, "All you can drink for 5 pounds!" When
O'Leary comes in the pub, he sees the sign and immediately asks for a drink
from the keg. He hands over a 5 pound note and Murphy hands him a pint of ale.
The beer is fantastic and O'Leary soon drains the glass. He hands the glass
back for a refill, but Murphy shakes his head. "Sorry," he says,
"That'll be another 5 pounds." "What?" exclaims O'Leary.
"But that sign says, 'All you can drink for 5 pounds.'" "I know,"
says Murphy. "And you see the glass I gave you?" "Yes,"
replies O'Leary. Murphy continues, "Well that is all you can drink
for 5 pounds."
of the week [414 = year 8, #50]: booze (9), a
Texan walks into an Irish pub ...
(June 21, 2010 - June 27, 2010)
Texan walks into an Irish pub and says: "I hear you Irish are a hard
bunch of drinkers. I'll give 500 American dollars to anybody in here who can
drink ten pints of Guinness back to back." The room is quiet and no one
takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same
man who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your
bet still good?" asks the Irishman.. "You bet it is," replies
the Texan and asks the bartender to line up ten pints of Guinness. Immediately
the Irishman tears into all ten of the pint glasses, drinking them all back to
back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan
gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where
did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?" The Irishman replies,
"Oh ... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it
of the week [415 = year 8, #51]: football (1), two
(June 28, 2010 - July 4, 2010)
1) Football is a game in which a handful of men run around for one and a
half hours watched by
people who could really use the exercise.
2) Football players are the only people who can dribble and still look neat.
of the week [416 = year 8, #52]: football (2), "kid
(July 5, 2010 - July 11, 2010)
1) “I understand you’re a member of the school football team,” said
a visiting uncle to seven-year-old
“What position do you play?” “I’m not sure,’ answered the boy,
“but I think I heard
say that I was the team’s main drawback.”
2) Little Jimmy was having tea with his auntie. “Now what do you do on
Saturday afternoons?” she
“I go to the football
match,” replied the child.
“And what do you do on
“I go to Sunday School.
“And which do you like
“There’s not much to
choose between them, really,” said the boy. “At Sunday School they tell me
stand up for
Jesus” sake and at the football match they tell me to sit down for God’s
T END OF EIGHTH YEAR
whole collection so far: http://www.wepsite.de/joke_of_the_week.htm
the week, index: http://www.wepsite.de/Joke(s)%20of%20the%20Week.htm
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