JOKE(S) OF THE
WEEK: SEVENTH YEAR
of the week [313 = year 7, #1]: computers, IT (2)
14, 2008 - July 20, 2008)
Q: What is a cursor?
having computer problems.
2) Q: What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
3) Q: Why did the lumberjack get nowhere on the internet?
A: He kept
logging on and off.
of the week [314 = year 7, #2]: computers, IT (3)
(July 21, 2008 - July 27, 2008)
young boy was watching his mother sift through and delete a long list of junk
e-mails on the computer screen. 'This reminds me of the Lord's Prayer,' the
boy said. 'What do you mean?' the mother asked. 'Well, you know,' the boy
answered, 'that part which says "deliver us from e-mail".'
of the week [315 = year 7, #3]: Chinese made easy (11-15)
(July 28, 2008 - August 3, 2008)
of the week [316 = year 7, #4]: Chinese made easy (16-20)
(August 4, 2008 - August 10, 2008)
Flung Dung ............. Which
one of you fertilized the field?
17) Hu Yu Hai Ding ............ We
have reason to believe you are harbouring a fugitive
18) Kum Hia ....................... Approach
19) Lao Zi ........................... Not
Ching ..................... An illegal execution
of the week [317 = year 7, #5]: Chinese made easy (21-25)
(August 11, 2008 - August 17, 2008)
Lei Ying Lo ................... Staying
out of sight
22) No Pah King ................. This
is a tow away zone
23) Wai Yu Mun Ching ...... I thought you were on a diet
24) Wai Yu Kum Nao ......... Our meeting is scheduled for next week
25) Wai You So Tan ........... Did you go to the beach?
of the week [318 = year 7, #6]: Confucius says (6-10)
(August 18, 2008 - August 24, 2008)
6) Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
7) Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
8) Crowded elevator smell different to midget
9) Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
10) Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.
of the week [319 = year 7, #7]: Confucius says (11-15)
(August 25, 2008 - August 31, 2008)
House without bathroom, uncanny. (If
you don’t get it, look up "can".)
Two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn.
He who have last laugh, not get joke.
14) When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet, than open mouth and
remove all doubt.
15) People who make Confucius joke speak bad English.
of the week [320 = year 7, #8]: Chinese
confusion or "Tendjewberrymud"
1, 2008 - September 7, 2008)
To be read aloud for best results (and some semblance of comprehension). This
was nominated "best email of 1997".
following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a
hotel in Asia which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:
Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS: "Rye.. Ruin sorbees.. morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
G: "Uh.. yes.. I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
RS: "Ow July den?... pry, boy, pooch?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem... crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"
RS: "San tos. July San tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes'
RS: "Toes! toes!... why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an
English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No.. just put the bother on the side."
G: "I mean butter... just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy... tea... mill?"
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem,
tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy.... rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
G: "You're welcome."
of the week [321 = year 7, #9]: booze (1)
(September 8, 2008 - September 14, 2008)
drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is far
too low down."
of the week [322 = year 7, #10]: booze (2)
(September 15, 2008 - September 21, 2008)
obnoxious drunk stumbles through the front door of a bar and orders a whisky.
The bartender says, "Sorry, chum, but you're too drunk."
A few minutes later, the drunk comes in through the back door. Again he slurs,
"Gimme a drink," and the bartender says, "No man, I told you
last time - you're too drunk."
Five minutes later the guy comes in through the bathroom window and orders a
drink. Again the bartender says, "You're too drunk."
The drunk scratches his head and says "Blimey, I suppose I must be. The
last two places said the same thing."
of the week [323 = year 7, #11]: booze (3)
(September 22, 2008 - September 28, 2008)
man walks into a bar with his Golden Retriever. "Hey, can I get a drink
on the house if my dog talks to you?" The barman laughs, "Dogs can't
talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I'll give you a drink. If
not, you're barred." "OK," says the guy. He turns to his dog,
"OK, fella. Tell me, what's on top of your doghouse?" "Roof!"
The man turns and smiles at the barman. "THAT ain't talking! Any dog can
bark!" "OK, boy. Tell me, how does sandpaper feel?" "Ruff!"
"What the hell are you tryin' to pull, mister?" "OK, OK,"
says the man. "One more question, please. OK, buddy, tell me, who is the
greatest ball player who ever lived?" "Ruth*!"
The barman beats the hell out of the guy and throws him onto pavement outside
of the bar, then throws the dog out next to him. The dog gets up and looks at
his owner. "Geez. D'ya think I shoulda said DiMaggio**?"
of the week [324 = year 7, #12] booze (4)
(September 29, 2008 - October 5, 2008)
Wayne enters a bar. Everybody stops drinking and an uneasy silence fills the
room. They are all aware that the fastest hand in the West has entered the
room and they all get out of his way. John sits at the bar and orders a whisky.
The cowboy next to him tries to play it cool and not attract attention. John
looks at him and says: "Two plus two?" The guy is so scared that he
can barely talk. He manages to say: "What?" John fixes his glare on
him and repeats: "Two plus two. Answer me NOW!" The guy is now
completely terrified, but realizes he had better answer. He starts thinking
really hard and does his best to add the two numbers. He comes up with the
answer: "Five?" A few seconds later he is dead from a shot in the
head. John puts his gun back and orders another whisky. The barman, shocked,
manages to ask: "Excuse me, Mr Wayne, but why did you shoot him?"
John drinks his whisky, looks at the barman and says: "The man knew too
of the week [325 = year 7, #13] booze (5)
(October 6, 2008 - October 12, 2008)
Texan walks into a bar in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of
drinkers. He says: "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll
give 500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of
The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the
Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up ten pints of Guinness.
Immediately the Irishman tears into all ten of the pint glasses, drinking them
all back-to-back*. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in
amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't
mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?" The
Irishman replies: "Oh, ... I had to go to the pub down the street to see
if I could do it first."
* back-to-back: consecutively, one after another, in a row
of the week [326 = year 7, #14]: money (1), banks
(October 13, 2008 - October 19, 2008)
wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I
would like to talk to Mr Timothy Brown, who, I understand, is a tried* and trusted employee of yours."
The manager said, "Yes, he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried*)
as soon as we catch him."
on the different meanings of "tried"
of the week [327 = year 7, #15]: money (2)
(October 20, 2008 - October 26, 2008)
Crazy/silly question: Q: What's a doughnut? A: Someone who is crazy
2) A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine. (geddit?)
3) Inland Revenue: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
of the week [328 = year 7, #16]: money (3)
(October 27, 2008 - November 2, 2008)
of the week [329 = year 7, #17]: US presidential election (1), Sarah Palin
(November 3, 2008 - November 9, 2008)
suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher who's hand was caught in
the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the
old man. Eventually the topic got around to Palin and her bid.
The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Palin is a 'Post Turtle'"*.Not
being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.
The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you
come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top - that's a 'post
The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to
explain. "You know she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't belong
up there, and she doesn't know what to do while she's up there, and you just
wonder what kind of dummy put her up there to begin with".
of the week [330 = year 7, #18]: US presidential election (2), "Yes, we can!" (November
10, 2008 - November 16, 2008)
know. People really like Barack Obama because he's an inspirational speaker.
But he was not the first one -- I was checking my presidential history -- he
was not the first candidate to use the phrase 'Yes we can!' Bill Clinton
frequently used that on interns."
of the week [331 = year 7, #19]: US presidential election (3), Obama
(November 17, 2008 - November 23, 2008)
Q: Why did David Letterman and Jay Leno vote for Obama? A:
Because they had run out of
George Bush jokes.
2) Q: Why did Jane Fonda vote for Obama? A: Because Ho Chi Min
of the week [332 = year 7, #20]: US presidential election (4), Obama
(November 24, 2008 - November 30, 2008)
How many Obamas does
it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it has to be a change the light bulb can believe in.
of the week [333 = year 7, #21]: US presidential election (5), McCain
(December 1, 2008 - December 7, 2008)
Joke of the week [334 = year 7, #22]: money (4),
two bills meeting
(December 8, 2008 - December 14, 2008)
one-dollar bill meets a twenty-dollar bill. "Hey, where have you been?"
asks the one-dollar bill. "I haven't seen you round in a while." The
twenty-dollar bill replies, "I've been here and there, you know, hanging
out at the casino and places like that. I went on a cruise in January, went
round the Caribbean a few times, then back home, went to a couple of football
games, did some shopping, the movies, that kind of stuff, never a dull
moment. So how about you?" The one-dollar bill sighs and replies,
"Just the same old stuff: church, church, church!"
of the week [335 = year 7, #23]: money (5), "failing
(December 15, 2008 - December 21, 2008)
businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business was failing, he had
put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody-- it was so bad he
was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to a priest and
poured out his story of tears and woe.
he had finished, the priest said, "Here's what I want you to do: Put a
beach chair and your Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the
beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the beach chair,
and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible; the wind will rifle the pages,
but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page
and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer, that will tell you
what to do."
year later the businessman went back to the priest and brought his wife and
children with him. The man was in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife in a
mink coat, the children shining. The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed
with money out of his pocket, gave it to the priest as a donation in thanks
for his advice.
priest recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I
suggested?" he asked.
replied the businessman.
went to the beach?"
sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"
let the pages rifle until they stopped?"
what were the first words you saw?"
* Chapter 11: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chapter_11,_Title_11,_United_States_Code
of the week [336 = year 7, #24]: CHRI$TMA$ crackers ctd. (4)
(December 22, 2008 - December 28, 2008)
Q: Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
the angel said "No L!"
2) Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it
3) Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
every buck is dear to him.
of the week [337 = year 7, #25]: two blondes getting a CHRI$TMA$ tree (December
29, 2008 - January 4, 2009)
of the week [338 = year 7, #26]: blonde millionaire
(January 5, 2009 - January 11, 2009)
blonde* named Barbara appeared on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire...
Host: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline
left. The next question will give you the million dollars if you get it right
... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"
"Sure, I'll have a go."
"Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it...
"Remember, Barbara, it's worth 1 million dollars."
"It's a cuckoo."
"You're sure? You can walk with the $500,000 or play on for the million."
Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C - Cuckoo."
Host: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is."
Host: "Are you confident?"
Host: "Barbara ..... you had $500,000 and you said C - Cuckoo. Well ....
you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler.
Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
That night Barbara calls her friend Carol and they go to a local bar for a
celebration drink. As they are sipping their champagne. Carol turns to Barbara
and asks, "Tell me, how did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not
build its own nest?"
"It was so simple," Barbara replied, "Everybody knows that
cuckoos live in clocks."
"blondes" insert any other minority known for their stupidity, such
as "red-necks", "Irishmen"
or, in a
German context, "East Frisians"
of the week [339 = year 7, #27]: three more "blonde jokes"
(January 12, 2009 - January 18, 2009)
Did you hear about the blonde*
who went to the library and checked out a book called How To
She got back home
and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia.
2) What did the blonde* say to the physicist?
"Why, I just
love nuclear fission! What do I use for bait?"
3) Did you hear about the blonde* who, at the bottom of a form where it
said 'sign here', wrote
"blondes" insert any other minority known for their stupidity, such
as "red-necks", "Irishmen"
or, in a
German context, "East Frisians"
of the week [340 = year 7, #28]: "blondes & brunettes"
(January 19, 2009 - January 25, 2009)
tourist groups, one made up of all blondes*
and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend in Las
Vegas. The brunettes ride in the bottom of the bus and the blondes ride on the
top level. The brunettes down below are whooping it up and having a great time
when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate. When the brunette reaches the top, she
finds all blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road and
clutching the seats in front of them. The brunette says, "What's going on
up here? We're having a great time downstairs!" One of the blondes says,
"Yeah, but you've got a driver!"
"blondes" insert any other minority known for their stupidity, such
as "red-necks", "Irishmen"
or, in a
German context, "East Frisians"
of the week [341 = year 7, #29]: two "linguistically geographical jokes"
(January 26, 2009 - February1, 2009)
A: Hey, do you know the capital of Alaska?
but I asked YOU!.
2) A: I say, I say, I hear your wife's gone to the
West Indies. Jamaica?
No, she went of her own accord.
of the week [342 = year 7, #30]: the pitfalls of copying
(February 2, 2009 - February 8, 2009)
applied for a position at an Irish firm. An American applied for the same job
and as both applicants had the same qualifications the manager asked them to
take a test. Upon completing the test both men had missed one question. The
manager said to Murphy, "Thanks for your interest, but we've given the
job to the American." Murphy said, "Why would you do that? We both
got nine questions correct. This is Ireland and I'm Irish. I should get the
job!" The manager replied, "Well, we based our decision on the
question you missed." "And just how would one incorrect answer be
better than the other?" Murphy wanted to know. "Well",
replied the manager, "that's simple. The American's answer to question
five was, 'I don't know.' Yours was 'Neither do I'."
of the week [343 = year 7, #31]: Valentine's Day (2)
(February 9, 2009 - February 15, 2009)
1) Q: Who sends a thousand valentine cards signed Guess who?
A divorce lawyer.
2) Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
A: No, but
they had an apple.
3) Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it
couldn't get a date.
see also: http://www.wepsite.de/joke(82).htm
of the week [344 = year 7, #32]: supplies!
(February 16, 2009 - February 22, 2009)
Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese man were hired at a construction site. The
foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian, "You're in
charge of sweeping." To the Irishman he says, "You're in charge of
shovelling." To the Chinese man he says, "You're in charge of
supplies." He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a while. I expect
the pile to be gone when I'm back."
But when the foreman returns the sand is untouched. He asks the Irishman
why he didn't shovel. "I couldn't get meself no shovel. You left the
Chinese fella in charge of supplies, but I couldn't find him nowhere." He
says to the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" "I
no gotta no broom an' I no finda no Chinaman."
The foreman gets
really angry and storms off looking for the Chinese guy. He can't find him
anywhere until the Chinese guy jumps out from behind the pile of sand and
of the week [345 = year 7, #33]: the blonde*
and the snowplough
(February 23, 2009 - March 1, 2009)
Bob and his wife Susan live in Muncie, Indiana. One winter morning while
listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to
have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered
side of the street, so the snowplough can get through." Susan goes out
and moves her**
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We
are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd
numbered side of the street, so the snowplough can get through."
Susan goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says
"We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must
park..........." then the electric power goes out.
Susan is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says,
"Honey, I don't know what to do." Which side of the street do I need
to park on so the snowplough can get through?
With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are
married to Blondes* exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave
it in the garage this time?"
* for "blonde" insert any other member
of a minority known for their stupidity, such as "red-necks",
or, in a German context, "East Friesians"
** How come only Susan
seems to own a car? Either Bob failed his driving test (repeatedly ???) or he
poor to afford a car of his own or his driver's licence had
been revoked (probably because he had
been driving "while under the
of the week [346 = year 7, #34]: Picasso
(March 2, 2009 - March 8, 2009)
once visited a cabinet maker to commission a mahogany wardrobe for his chateau
in the south of France. To illustrate the design he had in mind, he drew a
sketch showing its shape and dimensions. Handing it to the craftsman, Picasso
asked: "How much will it cost?" "Nothing," the
cabinet-maker replied," just sign the sketch."
of the week [347 = year 7, #35]: lawyer jokes ctd.
(March 9, 2009 - March 15, 2009)
Jenkins, a 5th grade teacher at Muncie High School, Indiana, set her class the
following math problem: "A wealthy man dies and leaves behind ten million
dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son,
one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?"
After a very long silence in the classroom, little Johnnie raised his hand and
Miss Jenkins asked him for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice,
little Johnnie answered, "A lawyer!"
of the week [348 = year 7, #36]: lawyer jokes ctd.
(March 16, 2009 - March 22, 2009)
priest, a psychiatrist and a lawyer are together in a sailing ship when the
boat capsizes. In danger of drowning they decide that one of them should swim
through the dangerous waters to the shore for help. The lawyer volunteers. The
priest says, "You'll get killed, there are hundreds of hungry sharks
between here and the land. We'll just have to pray, God will save us."
"Bullshit", the lawyer shouts and jumps into the water and swims
off. As he swims towards the shore the sharks let him through. "That's a
miracle," says the priest. "No, that's professional courtesy,"
says the psychiatrist.
of the week [349 = year 7, #37]: lawyer jokes ctd.
(March 23, 2009 - March 29, 2009)
guy ask a lawyer what his fee is.
"I charge $100 for three questions," the lawyer says.
"That's terribly expensive, isn't it?"
"Yes," the lawyer replies, "now what's your final question?"
of the week [350 = year 7, #38]: Irish light bulb joke (1)
(March 30, 2009 - April 5, 2009)
How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts
of the week [351 = year 7, #39]: yet another light bulb joke
(April 6, 2009 - April 12, 2009)
How many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but that light bulb really has to want to change!
of the week [352 = year 7, #40]: magician & parrot
(April 13, 2009 - April 19, 2009)
magician on a cruise ship was performing the highlight of the show when a
parrot flew onstage and squawked, "It's in his sleeve!"
The magician chased the bird away.
The next day the magician was performing his highlight again, when the parrot
flew onstage and declared, "It's in his pocket!"
The next day, during his show, he saw the parrot in the crowd. But before the
parrot could ruin his magic trick, the ship hit an iceberg and sank.
The magician managed to find a plank to hang on to. On the other end of the
plank was the parrot.
They stared at each other for three full days, neither of them saying anything,
until finally the parrot said, "I give up, what did you do with the ship?"
of the week [353 = year 7, #41]: yet another parrot joke
(April 20, 2009 - April 26, 2009)
man went into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The owner pointed to three identical
looking parrots on a perch and said, "The parrot on the left costs $
500." "Why so much?" asked the man. The owner replied,
"Well, that parrot knows how to use a computer." Then the man asked
about the next parrot. The owner said, "This parrot costs $ 1000. It can
do everything the other parrot can, plus it knows how to program in several
different languages." The increasingly startled man asked about the third
parrot. The owner said that it cost $ 2000 and, of course, the man had to ask,
"Well, what can it do?" The owner replied, "To be honest, I've
never seen it do anything, but the other two call him boss."
of the week [354 = year 7, #42]: on not knowing the time
(April 27, 2009 - May 3, 2009)
driving for about eight hours, a trucker decides to pull over and sleep a
little while. As soon as he falls asleep, he is awoken by someone knocking on
the door of his cab. Can you tell me the time, please?" asks a jogger.
"Yeah, it's 5:30," answers the trucker. He falls asleep again only
to be woken by another jogger who, too, wants to know the time. "It's
5:40!" yells the trucker. Really needing to catch some sleep before he
can continue driving, he writes on a piece of paper: I DON'T KNOW THE TIME. He
sticks the paper behind his windscreen. But hardly has he fallen asleep again
when he is awoken again by yet another jogger who tells him, "Glad to
oblige, it's 5:45."
of the week [355 = year 7, #43]: just punishment
(May 4, 2009 - May 10, 2009)
priest woke up one Sunday morning and looking outside he saw that it was a
beautiful day. He decided to skip church and go play a round of golf instead.
He drove about 40 miles out of town to avoid being spotted by his parishioners.
As he was setting up his first drive on the first hole, Jesus leaned over to
God and asked him, "Are you going to let him get away with this?"
God told him not to worry, he would handle it. Just as God said that, the
priest hit the drive of his life. The ball travelled 500 feet to the green,
bounced once and rolled into the hole. The priest stabbed the air with his
right fist in ecstatic joy, shouting, "Wow, what a shot!" Jesus
asked God, "Why would you let him do that?" To which God only
replied, "Because, who is he going to tell?"
of the week [356 = year 7, #44]: brother-in-law
(May 11, 2009 - May 17, 2009)
man was taken to the Sisters of Mercy Hospital for surgery. The operation went
well and, as the man regained consciousness, he was visited by one of the
Sisters. "Mr Hoskins, you are going to be just fine," said the nun.
"But we need to know how you intend to pay for your stay here. Do you
have insurance?" "No, I don't," the man whispered. "Can
you pay in cash?", persisted the nun. "I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."
"Do you have any close relatives?" the nun asked. "Just my
sister. But she's a humble spinster nun just like yourself." "Oh, I
must correct you, Mr Hoskins. Nuns are not 'spinsters'. They are married to
God." "Wonderful," said Mr Hoskins. "In that case, just
send the bill to my brother-in-law."
of the week [357 = year 7, #45]: Irish light bulb joke (2)
(May 18, 2009 - May 24, 2009)
of the week [358 = year 7, #46]: veddy (sic) upper-class joke
(May 25, 2009 - May 31, 2009)
proper English gentlemen meet in their club one afternoon.
"I say, Sir Percival" says Lord Bottomley, "have you seen Sir
Sir Percival looks a bit taken aback, and says "Sir Cecil? Yes, well, bad
show that. Buried him last Tuesday."
"Buried! Really?" stammers Bottomley.
"Oh, yes. Quite. Had to. Dead, you know.
see also: http://www.wepsite.de/joke(369).htm
of the week [359 = year 7, #47]: Churchill (1)
(June 1, 2009 - June 7, 2009)
Exchange of telegrams between G. B. Shaw and Winston Churchill
George Bernard Shaw sends the following telgram to Winston Churchill: "Reserved
you two tickets for my opening night. Bring friend, if you have one."
Churchill replies as follows: "Unable to attend opening night, will
attend 2nd night, if you have one."
of the week [360 = year 7, #48]: Churchill (2)
(June 8, 2009 - June 14, 2009)
Lady Nancy Astor and Winston Churchill
Nancy Astor: Winston, if I were your wife, I’d poison your tea.
Winston Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband,
I’d drink it.
of the week [361 = year 7, #49]: Churchill (3)
(June 15, 2009 - June 21, 2009)
Bessie Braddock and Winston Churchill
Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
Winston Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But
in the morning, I shall be sober.
of the week [362 = year 7, #50]: Churchill (4)
(June 22, 2009 - June 28, 2009)
war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.
of the week [363 = year 7, #51]: two cavemen jokes
(June 29, 2009 - July 5, 2009)
1) Q: What do cavemen and Paris Hilton
have in common?
A: They both
like to go clubbing!
How do you make a caveman burn his ear?
A: Phone him
up while he’s ironing!
of the week [364 = year 7, #52]: mind your pronunciation!
(July 6, 2009 - July 12, 2009)
a dog fall into a river a German guy jumps in and saves it from drowning.
"That was amazing," remarks a bystander. "Are you a vet?"
"Wet?" replies the German. "I'm totally soaking!"
T END OF SEVENTH YEAR
whole collection so far: http://www.wepsite.de/joke_of_the_week.htm
the week, index: http://www.wepsite.de/Joke(s)%20of%20the%20Week.htm
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