6) Constable Savage 

·video:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BO8EpfyCG2Y       X sound: Constable Savage.mp3  

S: Constable Savage   O: Senior Police Officer

The Scene: Constable Savage [NOMEN EST OMEN!], a racist and bigot, is taken to task for his racist behaviour by a senior police officer. [[In a few places the sketch has been simplified for the benefit of a non-English-speaking audience. These passages have been marked off by double brackets.]]

O: (The senior police officer’s voice has a cutting edge.) Come in, shut the door. Now then, Savage, I want to talk to you about some charges that you have been bringing in lately. I think that perhaps you’re being a little overzealous [[a little too keen]].

S: (in a slow and somewhat stupid voice) Which charges do you mean then, sir?

O: Well, for instance, this one: loitering with intent to use a pedestrian crossing. Savage, maybe you’re not aware of this, but it is not illegal to use a pedestrian crossing. Neither is smelling of foreign food an offence.

S: You’re sure, sir?

O: Also there is no law against urinating in a public convenience [[public toilet]] or coughing without due care and attention [[without proper care]].

S: If you say so, sir.

O: Yes, I do say so, Savage! Didn’t they teach you anything at training school?

S: I’m sorry, sir.

O: Some of these cases are plain stupid: looking at me in a funny way … Is this some kind of joke, Savage?

S: No, sir.

O: And we have some more here: walking on the cracks in the pavement *), walking in a loud shirt in a built-up area [[in the city centre]] during the hours of darkness and walking around with an offensive wife. In short, Savage, in the space of one month you’ve brought 117 ridiculous, trumped-up and ludicrous charges [[117 absolutely ridiculous and downright ludicrous charges]].    *) SEE CARTOON BELOW!

S: Yes, sir.

O: Against the same man, Savage.

S: Yes, sir.

O: A Mr Winston Cudoogo of 55 Mercer Road [[Spencer Street]].

S: Yes, sir.

O: (to Savage, who’s been standing so far) Sit down, Savage!

S: Yes, sir.

O: Savage, why do you keep arresting this man?

S: He’s a villain, sir.

O: A villain …

S: And a jailbird.

O: (exploding) I know he’s a jailbird, Savage. He’s down in the cells now. We are holding him on a charge of possession of curly black hair and thick lips.

S: Well, … well, well, well there you are, sir.

O: You arrested him, Savage!

S: (stupidly pleased) Thank you, sir.

O: Savage, would I be correct in assuming that Mr Cudoogo is a coloured gentleman?

S: Well, I can’t say I’ve ever noticed, sir.

O: (absolutely furious) Savage, you’re a bigot [[racist]]. It’s officers like you that give the police a bad name. The press love(s) to jump on instances like that and the reputation of our force can be permanently tarnished [[can be ruined for ever]]. Your whole time on duty is dominated by racial hatred and petty personal vendettas [[and personally motivated revenge]]. Do you get some kind of perverted gratification [[pleasure]] from going around stirring up trouble?

S: Yes (!), sir!

O: There’s no room for men like you in my force, Savage. I’m transferring you to the SPG [[to London Zoo]]. Get out!

S: Thank you, sir. (leaves the room)


ANNOTATIONS: some selected words and expressions

constable: (Anrede, Titel) Wachtmeister; bigot: Eiferer, bigotter Mensch; to take sb. to task: jemand zusammenstauchen; overzealous (PRONUNCIATION: [e]!): übereifrig; to loiter: herumlungern; public convenience(s): “Bedürfnisanstalt”; to cough: husten; crack: Spalt, Sprung, Ritze; built-up area: geschlossene Ortschaft; trumped-up: erfunden; ludicrous: lächerlich; villain: Schurke: jailbird: Knastbruder, “Knacki”; curly: lockig, (hier) kraus; to tarnish: beflecken; petty: kleinlich, “kleinkariert”, unwichtig, geringfügig; vendetta: Fehde, Rachefeldzug; gratification: Genugtuung, Befriedigung; to stir up trouble: Unruhe stiften, [“aufrühren”]; to transfer to: versetzen nach/zu; SPG = Special Patrol Group: Spezialeinheit der Polizei

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