Surgeon General's Warning: "The Capitol Steps will cause your sides to split." (C. Everett Koop, 1/6/89)

#2: Don’t go faking you’re smart    (Obviously, you have to listen to the song to fully appreciate it.)

LAURA BUSH: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, I’m Laura Bush. It’s so wonderful to be with you here tonight and share a giggle. Well, without further ado let me introduce my husband and your president, George W. Bush. (music) Now, honey, you know, I’m really worried about you. You’re still staying up so late night after night. Are you still cramming those Afghani language lessons?

GEORGE W. BUSH: Yes, I am, honey. But I tell you, it’s paying off, check it out. (gobbledegook)

LAURA BUSH: Well, I certainly am impressed.

GEORGE W. BUSH: Yeah and when we catch Bin Laden I wanna be able to look him in the eye and tell him in his eye and tell him in his own language exactly what we’re gonna do to him. So far I’ve found translations for words like "nostril", "burning hot poker", but I can’t seem to find an Afghani translation for "Lorena Bobbitt".

LAURA BUSH: Well, George, you know, up until recently and how can I say this is a nice way? Up until recently you certainly hid your intelligence well.

GEORGE W. BUSH: Well, honey, I think most Americans are starting to realize that that was all just an act, just a big [?……….?]. I think my down-home manner, my self-defecating (!) humor were …, these things were endearing and charming to the American people. Americans like the idea that they were smarter than the president. I mean, hey, nobody likes a know-it-all, but make no mistake, times are changing.

LAURA BUSH: George, don’t misunderstand me,

I hope that you will think twice

Before you open your mouth.

Please, hear these words of advice:

Don’t go faking you are smart.

GEORGE W. BUSH. I couldn’t if I tried.

LAURA BUSH: Oh, honey when you try those big words.

GEORGE W. BUSH: I get so tongue-tied. OK, just ask me questions, let’s start.

LAURA BUSH: I’ve got a difficult one.

GEORGE W. BUSH: Bring it on!

LAURA BUSH: What’s the goal of the space program now?

GEORGE W. BUSH: To land a man on the sun. Of course, it’ll be rather hot. So they’ll probably want to do it at night.

LAURA BUSH & GEORGE W. BUSH: Uh, uh, America knows it.

GEORGE W. BUSH: America knows.

LAURA BUSH: It’s good that you are tough enough.

GEORGE W. BUSH: And just smart enough.

LAURA BUSH & GEORGE W. BUSH: Uh, Uh America knows it.

GEORGE W. BUSH: America knows.

LAURA BUSH: You are winning this war.

GEORGE W. BUSH: And there’s just one thing more: they are glad I’m not Al Gore.

(Anyway, that’s what I could make out. W.E.P.)

                                         For more information turn to: www.capsteps.com

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