THE DAY NOTHING HAPPENED         Monty Python

June 4th, 1973 was much like any other summer’s day in Peterborough and Ralph Mellish, a file clerk at an insurance company, was on his way to work as usual when - nothing happened! Scarcely able to believe his eyes, Ralph Mellish looked down, but one glance confirmed his suspicions: behind a bush, on the side of the road, there was no severed arm, no dismembered trunk of a man in his late fifties, no head in a bag – nothing, not a sausage! For Ralph Mellish this was not to be the start of any trail of events which would not, in no time at all, involve him in neither a tangled knot of suspicion nor any web of lies, which would - had he been not uninvolved - surely have led him to no other place than the Central Criminal Court of the Old Bailey. But it was not to be!

Ralph Mellish reached his office in ...[name] Street, Peterborough, at 9.05 a.m.., exactly the same time he usually got in.           

ENID: Morning, Mr. Mellish.                                      X sound: The Day Nothing Happened(Monty Python).mp3      

MELLISH: Morning, Enid.

Enid, a sharp-eyed, clever young girl, who had been with the firm for only four weeks, couldn't help noticing the complete absence of tiny, but telltale blood stains on Mr. Mellish's clothing. Nor did she notice anything strange in Mr Mellish’s behaviour that whole morning, nor the next morning nor at any time before or since the entire period she worked with that firm.

MELLISH: Have the new paper clips arrived, Enid?

ENID: Yes, they are over there, Mr Mellish.

MELLISH: Oh.

But for the lack of any untoward circumstances for this young secretary to notice and the total non-involvement of Mr. Mellish in anything illegal, the full weight of the law would have ensured that Ralph, Aldous Mellish would have ended up like all who challenge the fundamental laws of our society: in an iron coffin with spikes on the inside!

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ANNOTATIONS:

to file/the file; filing cabinet: abheften, Akte, Dossier
to sever: abtrennen (cf. LATIN: separare)
to dismember: zerstückeln
trunk: SEVERAL MEANINGS : a) Rumpf; b) (Elefanten)Rüssel; c) (Seemanns)Kiste d) Baumstamm e) Kofferraum (US) [GB: "boot"]
not a sausage (BrE, old-fashioned, informal): überhaupt nichts, „totale Fehlanzeige", „nicht die Bohne"
a trail of events: „Verlauf der Ereignisse"
a tangled knot of suspicion: „ein verworrener Verdachtsknoten"
web of lies: Lügengewebe, Lügengespinst (cf. cobweb: Spinnwebe)
it was not to be: „es hat nicht sollen sein"
paper clip: Büroklammer
tell tale: verräterisch
nor : INVERSION (neither, hardly, only etc.) STELLUNG BEACHTEN!
but for (the lack of)/but for (this): TRICKY! = "without": ohne (das Fehlen von)/ohne (dies[en Punkt])
untoward: widrig, unglücklich
spike: Dorn

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