7) Internal Combustion
A: Man B: Woman ("Car")
Combustion”, a piece written by David
Frost [NOW “Sir” David Frost!], a well-known TV-personality of the
sixties, seventies and eighties, should appeal to those with a penchant for
the double entendre [sorry, for the hard words!!!], in other words to those
who, like Tom Lehrer, love SMUT !
British automobile industry has developed to the point where cars are of such a
shape and so on that … well, according to one report in the Observer
it said (quote) “…that cars seem to be taking the place of
[pause] women in British life. -
Yes … Lovely curves, I like the shape.
a soothing, cooing, seductive voice) I’m
a nice car!
How many cylinders have you got?
and you’re only 18 [pause] horsepower.
worried, alarmed) No, no, no! Please, please,
it’s been nice, don’t spoil everything.
sorry, I can’t help it.
have a can of oil!
just want to get me tanked up, don’t you? And then before I know where I am
you’ll be obtaining power for the
automatic clutch operation by making use of the partial vacuum in the engine
inlet manifold. (starts sobbing)
just want to take you for a drive.
sorry, but a girl’s got so much to lose. She’s never the same once she’s
I’m off then.
conciliatory) Oh no, don’t go! Just a little ride then, not
fast, be gentle with me. I haven’t got
gear. Horn. (with the appropriate noises)
I like that!
we’re going to do an S-curve.
Oh, do it again!
be in the hedge. Let’s double-declutch, Mildred.
no, no, be patient with me. (promising) I may be later.
gobbledygook) That’s right. Keep yourself in a state of
independent front-wheel suspension, the disadvantage
of which is the heavy beam axle which is inconsistent with good road holding.
loved the way you said that.
know, you wouldn’t look too bad if you used a bit more anti-freeze.
not. I like other things.
don’t like to say it.
like it when you move the gear lever and close the switch, thus energizing the
solenoid and causing the left-hand side of the piston to be exposed to the
partial vacuum in the reservoir.
been driven by other men!
you have driven other women!
is not the same thing.
why are you stopping? I’m not going into a lay-by with a strange man.
what are you doing then?
some selected words and expressions:
to get (sb) tanked up: betrunken machen/“auftanken”; clutch: Kupplung; shock absorber: Stoßdämpfer; to change gear: schalten; horn: Hupe; to double-declutch [bei unsynchronisiertem Getriebe oder sportlicher Fahrweise]: beim Schalten zweimal die Kupplung betätigen/bzw. „Zwischengas geben“; suspension: Aufhängung; road holding: Straßenlage; anti-freeze: Frostschutzmittel; kinky: pervers, abartig; lay-by (BrE): Parkbucht; to reverse: rückwärts-fahren; [And now some words for automobile freaks/buffs: inlet manifold: Ansaugrohr; solenoid: Magnetspule; piston: Kolben (this is a basic word!)]
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