ABITUR COUNTDOWN – not to be taken too seriously!
To Annoy Your Teacher
lower your grade in tests
lower your grade in tests
The following 25 time-tested methods of irritating your
teacher and persuading him or her to deduct points are guaranteed to work for
you, too. How many of the methods do you already use?
give any clues of identification, like e.g. your name and the question number.
read all the tasks/questions before you start working. Quickly scan the text and
then start immediately with the first question.
just love repetitions that’s why you should repeat yourself as often as
possible (“As I already said before ...”).
leave any blank lines between the different tasks and answers. Your whole test
should be one long block of text; like this you will save a lot of paper and
thus help the forests.
put additons to an answer close to the answer itself. In general your answers
should consist of two sentences and the additons should be at least three
make as many additions as possible. Do not mark your additions so that your
teacher experiences a happy surprise when he suddenly discovers something on the
last page that belongs to your first answer.
alternative is to mark all your additions with the asterisk *. Do not use any
clear marks like superscript numbers1, they would spoil the fun of
working out which addition belongs to which answer.
answer the different parts of a question in the given order. Always start with
the last one and only then jump to the first one.
across the margins so the teacher has no space for comments.
illegibly. If you can’t, your handwriting should be as tiny as possible.
are not sure how to spell a word, simply write your second version over the
first one. This method is especially efficient with vowels. Your teacher just
loves to find out whether it is supposed to be an ‘a’, an ‘o’ or maybe a
stick to the point. Don’t even say what the point is. Just waffle on about
anything that comes to your mind.
reveal the source of any of your conclusions, interpretations etc. Never ever
give any line numbers, they would spoil the teacher’s fun to search for the
passage you might refer to.
use any quotation marks. Let the teacher find out himself whether you used your
own words or not.
quotation doesn’t fit into your sentence, simply change it. If necessary just
leave out unnecessary words like not.
begin a new paragraph for a new aspect, argument etc. It is so much more
entertaining for the teacher to work that out himself.
circumstances indent the first line of a new paragraph. Make sure that the last
line of the previous paragraph goes to the very right margin.
bother to provide transitions and signal words. Simply connect all your
sentences with And.
plenty of clichés and avoid any alternatives to good and bad.
run sentences together without full stops or
write sentence fragments or alternate
the two forms.
shuffling back and forth between present and past tense, even within the same
sure your pronouns do not refer to anything or anyone in particular.
do any revising or proofreading. This would be sure to raise the grade.
ever use your ALD or DCE! When you come across an unknown word, just look out of
the window and guess its meaning. When you are not sure how to use a word, stare
at the ceiling and speculate.
BOTTOM LINE THE BOTTOM LINE THE BOTTOM LINE THE BOTTOM THE BOTTOM LINE THE
BOTTOM LINE THE BOTTOM LINE THE BOTTOM LINE