Stan Freberg: St. George and the Dragonet www.freberg.8m.com [3:20]
The legend you are about to hear is true, only the needle should be changed to
protect the record:
sound: St George and the Dragonet.mp3
St. George: This is the countryside, my name is St. George. I’m a knight.
Saturday, July 10th, 8.05 p.m. I was working out of the castle on the night watch when a call came in from the chief: A dragon had been devouring maidens. Homicide. My job: slay him.
You call me chief?
Chief: Yes, the dragon again, devouring maidens. The King's daughter may be next.
St. George: Uh-huh, you got a lead?
Chief: Nothing much to go on. Say, did you take that .45 automatic into the lab to have them check on it?
St. George: Yeah, you were right.
Chief: I was right?
St. George: Yeah, it was a gun!
8.22 p.m. I talked to one of the maidens who’d almost
St. George: Could I talk to you, madam?
Maiden: Who are you?
St. George I’m St. George, madam. Homicide, madam. I want to ask you a few question, madam. I understand you were almost devoured by the madam (!). Is that right, dragon (!)?
Maiden: It was terrible. He breathed fire on me. He burned me already.
St. George: How can I be sure of that, madam?
Maiden: Believe me, I got it straight from the dragon's mouth.
11.45 p.m. I rode over the king’s highway. I saw a
man. Stopped to talk to him.
St. George: Pardon me, sir. Could I talk to you for a minute, sir.
Knave: Sure, I don’t mind.
St. George: What do you do for a living?
Knave: I’m a knave*). *) knave: nusery rhyme, see below!
St. George: Then they picked you up on a 903 last year for stealing tarts?
MAN: Yeah, so what? Do you want to make a federal case out of it?
St. George: No, sir. We heard it was a dragon operating in this neighbourhood. We just want to know if you’ve seen him.
Knave: Sure, I’ve seen him.
St. George: Could you describe him for me?
Knave: What’s to describe? You see one dragon, you seen ’em all.
St. George: Would you try and remember, sir, just for the record. We just want to get the facts, sir.
Knave: Well, he was, you know, he had orange polka dots, purple feet, breathing fire and smoke and one big bloodshot eye right in the middle of his forehead and, like that.
St. George: Notice anything unusual about him?
Knave: No, he’s just your run-of-the mill dragon, you know
St. George: Yes, sir, you can go now.
Knave: How are you gonna catch him?
St. George: I thought you’d never ask: a dragonet!
3.05 p.m. I was riding back into the courtyard to make
my report to the lab. Then it happened. It was the dragon.
Dragon:: Hi, I’m the fire-breathing dragon. You must be St. George, right?
St. George: Yes, sir.
Dragon: I see you got one of ‘em new .45 calibre swords.
St. George: That’s about the size of it.
Dragon: Ha-ha-ha-ha, you slay me!
St. George: That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.
Dragon: What do you mean?
St. George: I’m taking you in on a 502. You figure it out.
Dragon: What’s the charge?
St. George: Devouring maidens out of season.
Dragon: “Out of season”?, you never pin that rap on me! Do you hear me cop?
St. George: Yeah, I hear you. I got you on a 412, too.
Dragon: A 412, what’s a 412?
St. George: Overacting. Let’s go.
On September 12th the dragon was tried an convicted. His fire was put out and his maiden-devouring license revoked. Maiden devouring out of season is punishable by a term of not less than 50 or more than 300 years.
to slay: erschlagen
to have a lead: einen Anhaltspunkt haben
straight from the horse’s mouth (idiom): aus erster Hand, aus bester Quelle
to do something for a living: seinen Lebensunterhalt mit etwas verdienen
just for the record: (nur) fürs Protokoll
run-of-the mill: von der Stange, nullachtfünfzehn
to pin sth. on sb.: jmd. etwas anhängen, jmd. etwas in die Schuhe schieben
rap (informal): Be-/Anschuldigung
to convict: überführen BUT: the convict (noun) = Sträfling, Zuchthäusler
to revoke: einziehen, für ungültig erklären
The Queen of Hearts,
The King of Hearts
She made some tarts Called for the tarts
All on a summer’s day; And beat the Knave full sore.
The Knave of Hearts The Knave of Hearts
He stole those tarts Brought back the tarts
And took them clean away. And vowed he’d steal no more.
see also audio files, index back to homepage
THE BOTTOM LINE THE BOTTOM LINE THE BOTTOM LINE THE BOTTOM LINE THE BOTTOM LINE THE BOTTOM LINE THE BOTTOM LINE