COMPUTER STORE or LOST IN CYBERSPACE (supplied by C. R.)
ABBOT: Super Duper Computer Store ... Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou
ABBOT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou
ABBOT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I
need a computer and software.
ABBOT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to
write proposals, track expenses
and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can
you recommend anything?
ABBOT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOT: Yes
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office
and it has windows! OK, let's just say,
I'm sitting at my computer and
I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office
is office.
ABBOT: The Word in Office
for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office
for windows?
ABBOT: The Word you get when you click the
blue W
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue
w if you don't start with some straight
answers. OK, forget
that.
Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a
cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what
I need!
ABBOT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can
I watch them?
ABBOT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great, with what?
ABBOT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I
do?
ABBOT: You click the blue 1
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOT: The blue 1.
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOT: The blue 1 is Real
One and the blue W is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOT: The Word
in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words
in office for windows!
ABBOT: No, just one. but it's the most popular Word
in the world
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words
left. It pretty much wiped out all the other
Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real
one?
ABBOT: Real One has nothing to do with Word.
Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping?
You have anything I can
track my money with?
ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?
ABBOT: Money
COSTELLO: Money comes with
my computer?
ABBOT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money
with my computer? How much?
ABBOT: One copy
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOT: Why not, they own it.
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